The Worst Thing I Ever Ate

There’s a series on the Cooking Channel called “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” that showcases celebrity chefs talking about their favorite dishes at restaurants across the country. As I was watching the show recently, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be more interesting to hear them talk about the absolute WORST thing they ever ate?” Let’s go there!

Stinky Tofu

I’ve been lucky. I grew up in a house where we had a home-cooked meal every night, prepared by my mom who was a great cook and always served us tasty food. Well, almost always. There was the occasional “miss”, like the lime Jell-O mold with pineapple, shredded cheddar cheese (what?!) and nuts that made a regular (and unwelcome!) appearance at our dining table in the early 70’s. That was bad, but it wasn’t close to the worst thing I ever ate. I had to travel 6,928 miles from Washington DC to Beijing, China to taste the absolute worst thing I have ever eaten – stinky tofu. And yes, that’s the official name for the dish – it’s a direct translation from the Mandarin term “chou doufu” (source: www.wierdasiannews.com).

Stinky tofu is fermented tofu. I became aware of this vile concoction as I was touring Beijing Hutong during a business trip to China back in 2018. This part of Beijing, which goes back as far as the 1300s during the Ming dynasty, is made up of narrow lanes and alleys around the Forbidden City formed by courtyard compounds, or siheyuan that served as family homes. As we exited the Hutong and walked through the adjacent tourist area, I was assaulted by one of the most horrendous scents I have ever encountered. The source was smoke coming from street-side food stands and push carts. I’d describe the smell as spoiled meat left to rot out in the sun, combined with unwashed armpits and barf. Turns out these were vendors making and selling stinky tofu, and they were everywhere.

Later that evening, we had dinner at a nearby restaurant. I was traveling with members of our China Studies Program, all US citizens and military analysts who had previously lived in China. We were also accompanied by our Chinese People’s Liberation Army (PLA) handlers (more about these folks in my next blog post!). Our Chinese host ordered stinky tofu (among other dishes) for our dinner. The tofu was served fried with an accompanying chili sauce. Ours was golden brown, not black like some versions (apparently the color has to do with the brine used to make it). My colleagues accompanying me on the trip were clearly relishing the opportunity to watch me try stinky tofu and capture it on film for posterity!

As we were waiting for our dishes to arrive, I asked one of our PLA handlers, a young female junior officer, whether she liked stinky tofu. To my surprise, she answered that she had never actually tried stinky tofu and wasn’t interested in trying it now. I countered that if she, a Chinese national, wasn’t going to try it, then I certainly wasn’t going to – the challenge was on! Eventually she relented, paving the way (unfortunately) for me to give it a try as well.

It was, in a word, horrific. It tasted like it smelled on the streets of Beijing, although I’d say the taste wasn’t quite as bad as the smell. I’ve never actually tasted sweaty socks soaked in sewer water, but I’m guessing stinky tofu was what that would taste like! To be honest, it was difficult to not spit it out, but I couldn’t offend our hosts so I forced it down and followed that was a quick “chaser” of tea to purge the taste from my mouth.

My reaction to eating stinky tofu caught on film

In the end, I’m glad I can say I have tasted and survived stinky tofu, but that will definitely be a “one-off” for me. That said, you should definitely try it if you get the chance (you can find it on eBay or make it yourself) and tell me what you think when you do!

Until then (and I won’t be holding my breath, …), what’s the worst thing you have ever eaten, and do you think it could ever rival stinky tofu? Let me know!