Hard Drinks - What's the Point?

Hard iced tea. Hard lemonade. Hard seltzer water. The list of traditional non-alcoholic drink options that now come in “hard” spiked alcoholic versions grows every year. So, what’s the deal with these hard drinks and are they actually worth the calories? And more importantly, what’s the point of them? Here’s my take after sampling a bunch of them!

The choices for alcoholic beverages, be it wine, beer, cider, liquor, craft cocktails, or other “hard” beverages such as hard lemonade, tea, or seltzer are expansive and overwhelming. In fact, almost any traditional non-alcoholic beverage is now available in a spiked version with alcohol. I mean, for Pete’s sake, Bud Light recently introduced the first hard cola/soda last year! Which got me thinking – how do these alcoholic versions of the classics actually taste, and on a more philosophical level, what’s the point of it all?

First, let’s clarify what I’m talking about here by setting wine, beer, hard liquor, hard cider, and cocktails aside since those are unique in their own right and all have long and storied histories, some going back some 9,000+ years (in the case of beer and wine). More recently, we have seen explosive growth in the number of new choices available for alcoholic beverages, with most of these offerings taking traditional non-alcoholic drinks and “spiking” them to create alcoholic versions of the classics. The three most popular of these include hard lemonade, hard iced tea, and hard seltzer.

Interestingly, most of these are made using a traditional fermentation process instead of simply adding distilled spirits to the base liquid. For example, Twisted Tea is made by brewing traditional tea with sugar and malted barley. Likewise, most hard seltzers like White Claw are made by adding yeast and sugar to carbonated water and then fermenting the liquid. In other cases, like the original version of Mike’s hard lemonade, distilled spirits (usually vodka) are added to the base liquid to infuse the drink with alcohol (once introduced into the US, they changed the formula by fermenting malt grains with yeast to create ethanol for spiking the drink). Also, the alcohol by volume (ABV) of these spiked drinks are at the low range for alcoholic beverages (usually 4-7 percent) compared to 12-16 percent for unfortified wine.

I tried Twisted Tea, Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and a variety of different White Claw Flavored Seltzers to see what all the “buzz” was about. My first impression of all three was that they tasted exactly like their non-alcoholic counterparts – I didn’t notice the alcohol in the taste and wouldn’t have known they were spiked drinks if I had tasted them blind. And all of them were tasty and refreshing. But drinking these made me wonder what the point of it all was?

I drink alcoholic beverages because I enjoy the unique tastes and flavors of each which come courtesy of the alcohol, and I love the intellectual aspect of imbibing that includes deconstructing the drink and identifying all of the different flavors and taste components of the drink. The fact that wine, beer, hard liquor, and craft cocktails have unique flavor profiles and don’t have non-alcoholic counterparts that came before them make them fundamentally different from these newer spiked drinks and much more interesting.

So why even bother drinking a spiked version of a traditional non-alcoholic beverage like iced tea, lemonade, or seltzer that tastes no different from the original non-alcoholic version? I can think of only one reason – to get buzzed. Which means, I don’t really see the point of these drinks. Yes, yes, I know, … they provide a lower alcohol alternative to most other alcoholic beverages and many people feel more comfortable in social settings when they imbibe with those around them. But still, I can’t help but feel that they really serve no purpose on their own other than to get alcohol to the brain for whatever reason. Instead, I’d prefer to sip on a drink where the alcohol actually influences and drives the flavor and enjoyment of the drink and makes it unique in some way.

So, to answer one of the great philosophical questions of the day – what’s the point of hard drinks – my answer is, there is no point! Do you agree or disagree with me? I’d love to hear your views on the matter so please share them!